slow times

I love this picture of my mum (taken by my father; photography in my veins) as a young woman lying on board of a sailing boat enjoying a peaceful moment at the quiet sea. I wonder what was on her mind in that moment forty years ago. Was the mind of this beautiful, young woman preoccupied with same thoughts as today the mind of her daughter? 

It‘s been a one month of intense work and finalizing the project. My mind and body are in urgent need of rest, space and silence. I am actually in a mood of leaving everything behind; leaving this modern, fast and so demanding lifestyle and replacing it with days of relaxation, reflection and connecting with nature again. I feel anxious of taking a distance to the regular world and having space to look inward.  I've always been a spiritually inclined person, but my life is still rushing too fast. Last years I have made big adjustments in my life to slow down but the challenge is still present and even so it became bigger than before after my mind and body tasted the quality of being and presence and need even more space and more of winding down. 

Last years I have learnt to respect my time and to chose how I want to spend it, taking care of my inner world and creating a special space for my relationships to grow and become better. There is much of quality time to nurture my being, much of quiet time, much time spent outdoors and with people I love. But there are still too many unnecessary challenges and tasks on “to do lists”, there is still a demanding modern world of work where emails replaced a verbal communication and humanity, sometime there is too much socializing with too much alcohol, and not always a healthy diet; all this making my body tired and worn out.

In the moments of stress and unnatural speed of daily life I consciously know that I need to better take care of myself, but even taking the time of rest and space lately this was not enough. I grow more and more to a more radical change, aspiring to a much healthier, simpler and harmonic life. As for today I will not just set off on a boat and sail away or pack a back-pack and take off on a plane pretending to myself that the hectic life is over (boats and travels as well require a huge amount of effort, logistics and organization and are not the “outer” solution as for a change). I deeply know that the change is within me and nowhere else. As a natural progress I see making even more adjustment in everyday life and making absolutely sure that my body and soul are taken care of; this means making even more conscious decisions about every moment, about my well being, and being even more selective and careful about my time and dropping anything that consume too much of my energy in a negative way. Obviously in today world most of our jobs are the main source of anxiety and stress and knowing that I cannot avoid it but I can at least reduce it by rationalizing any problems and obstacles that appear on the way.  

It is a choice of mine, living the life I have chosen for myself. And although there is still a part of it that I am yearning to change I deeply trust it will happen if only I take responsibility for it and relax at the same time.

Life is incredibly beautiful if we manage it well and are aware of our choices. Life was made to be lived in peaceful and harmonic manner, to do things we love, to grow and to share the moments with people we love being around and feel comfortable with. I believe that this journey of mine will eventually develop into the exact lifestyle I am aspiring to.